Well, today I am on my "soapbox" like no other. So many things I have seen and heard have really puzzled me as to HOW, some people manage to sleep any at all when they go to bed at night. Heck I don't really have a "dog in this race" really, but at the same time I do, and I can't sleep over it.
Let me begin by saying, all families have fights. All siblings will argue and bicker back and forth with each other. If you say you don't, then I say your lying through you're teeth! That's like saying it NEVER rains in Kentucky! It's simply not true. However, no matter what happens, family is family. For the majority of people in this part of the country, we will take a bullet for family, no matter if it your "blood" family, friends that are closer than family, or your in-law family! No matter what happens family is ALWAYS first, well, second to God that is. The list should always (in my opinion) God, blood family, and friends! Point blank, and if your part of the few who don't believe in God or whatever, family should be your number one.
We all have lost family who have been a huge part of our lives, if you haven't then you have no clue of the value of life! No clue how important this whole topic is! It's one thing to lose a friend who was like a grandfather, it's another to lose, say, your actual grandfather! There is no pain like the death of a family member, no matter how close they are, or how much you visit them. It seems to me that the family you have left would become more important than any friends you may have.
For instance, my best friend, we will call her "Janet" is my 100% shoulder to cry on. She has helped me through more stuff than anyone I know. I love her to pieces and she is closer to me than my sisters! I would be lost if I couldn't talk to or see her often. HOWEVER, if I had to make the choice to see her when she is in, or attend a family gathering, FAMILY FIRST, of course with her, she would be right along with me. At no point is it ok to push your family off, well ok, unless it's a life and death situation of some sort! We are NOT promised tomorrow. Look around you, how many times have you heard "So-n-so passed away last night"? There are times that the person who passed seemed completely healthy, then the next breath they were gone! Is that how you want to think when your standing over the coffin holding a family member? Is the whole visitation and funeral procession going to be spent thinking, "Oh I wish I had gone to visit them"? I live everyday thinking that thought about family that has passed. I'm not saying go digging up your family tree and start hunting down everyone on it. I'm simply saying, if you have a brother, sister, mom, dad, grandparent, or uncles and aunts, GO VISIT THEM, call them, or do something to make sure that they know you care for them. Just a simple email, in this age of electronic everything, is better than living with regrets of what you should have done.
I can tell you from just my own family that with death comes the love fest. Then over a few weeks, months, even years, the visits stop, the phone calls stops, and the love is not shown. My family gets together very little on mom's side, and pretty much once a year on my dad's. It's heart breaking! What is wrong with people now days? I'll tell ya the case with some people I know, MONEY! They are either to busy showing it off, or hanging around where they think it is. Plain and simple. My husband and I are just tickled pink to pay the bills. If there is extra, sure we spend on the kids, and things we want or like. We don't, however, go showing it off when we have extra, and we don't go to those people who we know have it when we don't.
It's also not right to choose sides of family. If your married, his side is your side and your side is his side. There shouldn't be any of this "we will only go to my side" crap! My husband's family lives almost 2 hours away, and to be frank with you, it kills me that he can't go visit his family like we do mine. We go as we get the money for gas, and when things aren't falling in on us! I would love for us to be able to go two or three times each month for a weekend visit. I know that would make him happy, and it would make them happy to see him.
I see a lot of this "my family, your family" crap in my family. I see my granny sit and want her kids to visit, I listen as she pours her heart out about how they promise to this and that, but never follow through. It's a never ending cycle with them. After my grandfather died, it was like they would come almost everyday and sit with her, just to visit and comfort her. Now almost 4 years later, it's like no one visits her. I am a grandchild, but I visit more than most of her kids, and that's not saying much at all. I will own my part of it, completely own it. I don't visit her like I use to, nor like I want to. However, my reason is because of work. My hours cut down on all the time I have for vising through the week, but I do my best to try to see her as much as possible. However, if you have time to visit your "other" family, you have time to visit YOUR family. If you can all the "other" family, then you can call your! Simple as that!
Ok, I suppose I better stop rambling and get off my soapbox. The basis of it all, you only get once chance to make certain memories. You only have a short time to say I love you's and give hugs out. Don't miss those chances by putting people in the way of your family. Who cares if you don't like what they want to do or talk about. Enjoy the time with them, because tomorrow might not come for one of them!
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